Tonight was not a very "encouraging" group practice. It was the first Wendesday night that I made it to. I spent most of the day talking myself in and out of going. But I'd been putting it off for 4 weeks, so tonight I had to make it. We were set up to run a 1/4 mile at a faster speed than usual, and then a 1/4 mile slow recovery. I made it through three rounds, but in about the same time most people did 6-8. During the warm-up job my right shin started aching, and became a sharp pain during the first 1/4 mile "on." I limped back, fighting back tears. Everyone else was speeding past me, seemingly at ease. I started a downward spiral of second guessing my decisionon to do this and spent the last half hour trying not to breakdown and have a total flip-out in front of everyone. I'll admit I shed some tears. Everyone was very encouraging, which just made me want to cry even more.
Finally we called it a night. My mentor David was great, and the coaches too, saying encouraging things. But I just felt like a big idiot. This Saturday I am supposed to run 6 miles, which I know I can do. I ran/walked 5 miles last weekend, so I know I can do it. I'm gonna start stretching at work and switch back to my previous running shoes to see if that makes a difference. We have another race in 2 weeks, only 5 miles, through Central Park. Tonight made me even more determined to do this. I hate not being good at something. I CAN do this!
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